Catch Up

Oh my gosh, so much has happened since I last blogged. Lots to gloss over since no one cares about long posts. Let's get going...

These past six weeks I have been inundated with school assignments and I've been loving every minute. I NEVER expected to enjoy this program, but I'm having a lot of fun with it. It's so intrinsic in my assessment work currently that I don't even have to study as hard or as long as maybe others might to get through a class. I'm steadily working my way through the course of study and enjoying the things I learn in a way I never expected. The MBA was SO BORING to me that I figured I wouldn't like this program either, but I got really lucky. Apparently I love instructional design! I think I love the layout and organization of the WGU course of study too, which really helps. It's just been a lot of fun and I'm really pleased that I am in this program.

Scarlet has been pushing our buttons for the past six months or so. She keeps pushing boundaries and pretending that all attempts to discipline her are just a hilarious joke. I recently took a personality quiz that said I'd struggle to discipline my children and I had to laugh. No kidding. I see the value in discipline but I have a hard time doing it myself. It just makes my heart hurt. I seriously never thought I'd be a softie but poor Josh has had to pick up my slack for months now. (Incidentally I just paused to put Scarlet in time out for yanking out my laptop cord when I warned her not to. See, I'm not a total slacker!) She is practicing sounding out the words we speak to her and she can go for weeks not saying a certain word we've been working on and then just out of the blue say it. The other day she just blurted out "Purple" for no particular reason. She was immediately showered with such praise, love, and affection that she felt no obligation to speak any new words for a few days. We're working on numbers, colors, and random simple nouns. She occasionally will make animal sounds (lions, cats, and dogs) and can now identify her nose, ears, and belly button. She may be quite a bit behind other almost-two-year-olds in speech development, but she is making wonderful progress in our eyes and we are thrilled with her.

Scarlet and I spent three weeks visiting my sister in Pittsburgh and we've been back home for just over a week now. It was a surreal experience. I loved being with my sister. I loved talking with her and watching Scarlet develop and progress so much faster with her four-year-old cousin around her, and I loved being able to provide tiny acts of service for my sister like babysitting on Friday nights so she and my brother-in-law could go on dates, and cleaning the kitchen. I didn't love working remotely (I just wanted to play with my sister and my niece!), and I HATED being a single mom (Scarlet often had hard nights so I got very little sleep), and of course I missed my husband fiercely. Josh passed the time by working 12- to 14-hour days and collapsing into bed afterward. He worked himself silly to avoid the empty apartment, but on some days he made the time to hang out with some work friends after hours since there was no one to come home to. Josh NEVER goes to movies or bowling or whatever--least of all with people who are not me and Scarlet--but he saw three movies in our absence and went bowling with his work friends. I was relieved that he wasn't spending all his time working or sleeping, but it was still hard to be without him for so long.

My sister and I took turns working on our schoolwork and babysitting the kids while I was in Pittsburgh, so the days were really busy after work. I remember feeling tired just all the time, but overall it was a wonderful trip. I'm attending an editor conference for work in March and it takes place in Pittsburgh (the coincidence made me laugh) so I'll get to see my sister again for a few quick hours next month. After that, I can't even fathom when I'll next see her. It is so hard for her to live so far removed from everyone else.

When we flew home and Josh picked up Scarlet for the first time, that little stinker wouldn't look at her father for a couple of hours. She allowed him to hold her, but she turned her head to avoid his gaze and when he caught her gaze, she closed her eyes to avoid him. It was a little sad, I guess, but it made me laugh so hard because it was just so funny to me. Scarlet did the same thing to me and Josh after we returned from Wales last summer, and just like that last trip, she got over it in a couple of hours and loved playing with her daddy.

Scarlet's birthday is on Sunday so we're taking her to the aquarium on Saturday to celebrate. We'll bring cupcakes up to her grandparents' house and sing happy birthday to her that night as well, so she'll know she's loved. I can't believe I'll have a two-year-old. This year has really just started off with a bang and I'm excited to see what the next six weeks bring.

Also, please enjoy this brief video depicting one of the many things Scarlet learned from her twice-as-old cousin:

2014 in Review

I've been so busy, I never got around to posting our year in review! Better eleven days into the new year than never, so here goes. *Scrounges around for pictures to upload* Okay, ready.

January was very calm. I have no pictures of January. I do have a list of resolutions I made in January that I did not complete this past year, but I made significant headway on a lot of goals, so that was nice.

February, my sister Emily left to serve her mission in California. She went to the MTC a couple of days after Scarlet's birthday, so she was here in time to celebrate, which was kind of nice. I got to take the day off to see her go into the MTC and it was just as fun/hard as it had been for the two other sisters I saw leave to serve missions the year before.

Scarlet's birthday fell on a Saturday this year, so we took her to the zoo, though it was clear that she was too cold and little to appreciate the animals. It was fun for us, anyway.

In March I think Josh and I had decided we were going to spend our July in Wales on a three-week tour with my old Welsh history professor (Tom) from college. We were so excited to go but it meant leaving Scarlet behind, which was a lot easier to deal with than the guilt and dread I struggled with all those months leading up to our trip. We started planning and saving for it as soon as we committed to it, and visited Tom in Provo with Scarlet to get as much information as we could about it.

Also in March, I got to visit my sister Heather and Allyse in Colorado. We had a marvelous time together even though I was working remotely. All of our children played together and we went to the zoo and we had more fun than I think I remember having in a long time. Heather has since moved from Colorado, so it'll be a long time before I next see her, but I have the best memories of this past visit.

In April, Rachel and I went down to Provo for a Wales reunion with the 2009 Wales gang (despite it having been five years since we had all gone to Wales together). It was a lot of fun to see everyone but now that so many people have moved away, I believe that may have been our last reunion ever. Well it was a good one.

In May, MEREDITH GOT MARRIED! Do you guys remember that? There was an awesome wedding shower where Margaret won the love and adoration of baby Jack. He is so fun to play with because he smiles so readily.

On Memorial Day weekend, Josh and I took Scarlet up to Wyoming to spend the weekend at a huge Wilson family reunion (my mother-in-law's family). The weather was beautiful and Scarlet was good-natured throughout it all, and we had so much fun with the family.

In June, my niece Brianna came to stay for two weeks, which meant she was just in time for the color run we did in downtown SLC! She ran too fast for me at first, but she got tired a whole lot sooner, so we ended up walking a lot during the last stretch. Doesn't matter--we were still total winners.

I also had Allyse and Heather come visit for a quick weekend in June. We all went to Wheeler Farm because there's nothing more fun than a really cheap wagon ride and an up-close view of farm animals. The kids were ecstatic.

And then our much-anticipated Wales trip was upon us. I packed everything I could possibly think of for Scarlet, and left copious notes for her grandparents who would be tending her in our absence. I missed her terribly during the flights that took us farther and farther from her, but after we settled in and got busy touring and taking photos, it grew easier to be apart from her. We got to skype with her almost every night (for her, it was mid-afternoon), and I did spend an excessive amount of time talking about her with my traveling companions and sharing photos of her, but I wasn't the nervous wreck I thought I'd be. We truly enjoyed our time there.

Because we weren't driving, I spent TONS of time reading. I think I read four books for each week I was there. It was insane. And I ate a lot of ice cream and got to see some truly enchanting sites. I don't know why Wales and England hold such a special place in my heart, but even just looking at these photos I feel peace and happiness. It was the best trip I've ever had in my entire life.

This is us riding in the van. We both read a TON while we traveled.

Raglan Castle. Tom took that photo from across the impressive moat. It's the castliest castle you'll ever see.

The Bridge of Sighs in Oxford

Stonehenge at sunset. We got to go right up to the stones and feel their enormity. As a bonus, a trio of new-age Wiccans gathered in the center of the stones and sang a song of rebirth or something. Talking to them afterward, we found them all to be utterly delightful people.

And my personal favorite place in all of the UK: Tintagel Castle. Supposedly (incorrectly) the birthplace of King Arthur. Mostly just a stunning ruins of a seaside castle with the bluest ocean and the greenest foliage. I feel like the whole place is enchanted with a blanket of ancient magic that keeps that place from ever being touched by modernity. It feels almost sacred there and I hope I return to it one day.

At the beginning of August, Scarlet was fast outgrowing her pack-n-play, so we bit the bullet and bought her a twin-size bed. The first two nights she fell out of it and woke up startled but not screaming. After that, she quit moving around so much and hasn't fallen out of it since.

Although sometimes she still chooses to sleep on the floor.

She still seems impossibly little to have a bed of her own.

In the middle of August, Heather came to visit again! I can't believe how many times I've seen this sister of mine, but I'll never get tired of it. She lives so far away and it's such a treat when she comes to stay. Here she is, helping Scarlet stay on the spinny thing at the park. What a nice aunt!

At the end of August, Rachel and Jonathan had their long-awaited baby Hazel. She was absolutely beautiful when she was born, but a few months later, during conference weekend, she was even cuter. 

Scarlet mostly ignores Hazel but she seemed not to mind holding her just this once.

Then September arrived. That month is extra special for me because it holds my birthday, my work anniversary (okay that one's not so significant to me), and my wedding anniversary. Josh and I went to our favorite restaurant, Cucina Tuscana, for dinner for our anniversary. During the middle of the month, my sister Rebecca came home from her mission, so Scarlet and I flew down to visit the family for a week. Scarlet got to meet the captain on one of the plane rides and seemed to think it wasn't much of a big deal.

I also got the idea of making Scarlet's costume, so this is her trying it on for the first time. She was obsessed with the little pumpkin at her waist and wouldn't let go of it.

This is relevant to nobody, but I was driving on the freeway and saw Swoop, the U of U hawk, driving all bad-A-style on his motorcycle going 80 mph. It was the oddest site, so I took a dangerous photo to prove to Josh it had actually happened.

Then in October, so so many things happened. Stephen and O'Malley got married, and I sneaked a photo of Bobby dancing with Scarlet at the reception. That whole weekend just felt really busy and overwhelming because all of us were there to set up and decorate and do a million things for the reception. By the time I flew back home, I was ready for a break. Josh didn't come down with us, though, because he was taking AND PASSING his second actuarial exam. Woo-hoo! Two down and a million thousand twenty more to go.

Then three different sisters and their families came to visit. Bob and Bobby came up for a quick visit, then Allyse and Richard, and then Nicole. All of them brought their children and all of them stayed with us, and all of them went to Cornbelly's. I'm so glad I bought the season pass this year. It was well used.

Richard and Karter

Nicole's kids and Scarlet on the way to Cornbelly's.

Nicole's kids and Scarlet on the way back from Cornbelly's.

Bob's kids crashing for the night on my living room floor.

In November, I sort of took a break. I wasn't prepared for Nanowrimo so I didn't really do it this year. I slowed down on my reading and I just sort of enjoyed each day as it came. We spent Thanksgiving in Salt Lake City with Josh's family, which was nice and relaxing, and we bought a new washer and dryer on black Friday, because after four years, you really should own one of those things.

In December, I was still going through this weird "recovery" of the year, where I didn't feel compelled to do anything really motivating, like read a thousand books, or write a thousand stories. Instead, I took a very zen attitude about the whole season. I didn't end up buying a tree because Josh and I were going to be spending the Christmas holiday in Vegas. Scarlet and I left even sooner than we planned because we found a great price on a flight, so we went down the weekend before and enjoyed a full week of festivities and family and family photos (none of which I have at the moment) and the permeating spirit of Christ. It was a truly spectacular holiday. Josh and I even spent a couple of nights in a hotel so we could have a private Christmas with just our family in the midst of visiting all the family that was in town for the holiday. It's always been a dream of mine to spend Christmas in a hotel, and it really fulfilled the fantasy to wake up Christmas morning, pull Scarlet into our bed, and help her open up new toys from Santa. It felt very intimate and private and really special. I think I'd like to do it again one year, but Josh had a hard time spending time away from family, so I'll indulge his Christmas wishes for a few years before pressing mine again.

When we got back home, Josh and Scarlet finally succumbed to the illness that had been spreading from person to person in Vegas. It didn't taint the holiday exactly, but it's never any fun knowing someone's child is sick or so-and-so missed dinner because they're resting. I never got sick, but Scarlet took the rest of the year (a full seven days) to recover and was such a fussy baby that I'm still amazed when I see her so happy and pleasant now because I'd forgotten what a sweet person she had been before she got really sick.

The new year has already started off with a bang. I'm a week into my school and one class is already behind me. I'm motivated and excited to get as much school done as quickly as possible just to see how fast I can push myself. Scarlet is practicing her sounds nearly every waking moment (she only has a few words so far), and Josh and I are enjoying our time together in between work and family responsibilities. I have a feeling 2015 is going to be even more eventful than the last year. Happy new year to everyone and I hope you've all had a truly spectacular year!

Goodreads 2014

I made my goal! I read 75 books this year and it was absolutely marvelous. (That's a lot for me, you fast readers, you.)

It's amazing how much you can read when you don't have school and you take three weeks off for vacation. Some of the books were really stupid, some were absolutely fascinating, and many of them were fun and funny. I didn't read as many "learning" books as I feel I should have, but I enjoyed myself very much this year. Now onto next year's goal!

Illness Strikes and School Begins

Life has gone on and so much has happened and nothing has really happened. It's hard for me sometimes to pause life and find a bit of perspective to write about it, but it's been too long since I've written, so I'll try to briefly bring everyone up to date.

Scarlet is ridiculously sick right now. She caught something/is teething/might be dying this past Sunday and is no better four days later. Her appetite is reduced and it's a struggle to push fluids on her. I've resorted to juices, gatorade, and popsicles to get some form of nutrition/calories into her. The popsicles are great since they're made of vegetable and fruit juices with very little sugar. She's somehow fooled into thinking they're good (they're not), so she'll eat those most of the time. There are moments, however, when all she wants to do is be held and even cuddling and getting all of my attention won't stop her from whimpering and just plain feeling lousy. My heart hurts every time I hear her cough that deep-chested cough. If she hasn't made significant progress by next Sunday, she's going to visit her favorite pediatrician.

Josh has also been very ill this week. For a man who never takes a sick day, this week he's only been able to work six hours. He has just been dying in bed. Luckily for me, Josh is the type of sick person who retreats quietly to nurse his wounds, so he's not dependent on me to take care of him. That has made it easier for me to tend to Scarlet's many needs, although I wish I could serve him during this time when he's feeling so poorly.

I have not been sick at all, which is some sort of minor miracle in this den of illness. I have been able to work every day and get quite a lot of my assignments done despite a needy baby. I went to bed feeling stress and dread on Sunday night because there was simply too much to do, but in the first two hours of work I had done half of my weekly assignments and suddenly had more than enough time to complete the rest of my work. That was some kind of major miracle since work has been a huge ball of stress lately, with tight deadlines, too many assignments, and virtually no editors available/qualified to work on them.

Tomorrow marks the first of the new year, and the following day I start my master's in instructional design at WGU. I wanted to take advantage of the huge WGU discount while I'm still working, and now feels like the right time to do it. Often I get a little wistful at the things I can't do with my education: I can't go to law school, I can't pursue a PhD, and I can't even get an AA from SLCC. All of that requires more time and money than I have to give. Now that Scarlet is in our lives, it feels wrong for me to dedicate so much time away from her and to spend money that could go towards our savings (or that we simply don't have). I'm not my own person anymore--I'm part of a family and that comes with responsibilities that require me to make sometimes really hard sacrifices. I've always wanted to go to law school, but every time I plan out how long it would take to save up for it and how long I'd have to work to pay for it and how many potential children I could have by then and how many years I'd need to essentially ignore my family...*sigh* It just isn't feasible. I know several people who are moms and dads and pursuing PhDs and they are absolutely amazing to me. I am a teensy bit jealous of them but mostly just awestruck at the smart choices they made earlier on in their lives to make their degrees now a possibility. I didn't make the same smart choices so those possibilities that come with early, smart decision-making aren't available to me. I simply don't have the years left in my life to dedicate to endeavors best undertaken while either single or childless. Now I need to focus on smart decisions relevant to this stage of my life.

Okay, moping done. In order to sweeten some of that "lost-time" bitterness, I'm pursuing another master's degree at WGU. I can afford to pay the tuition and it allows me to continue to work and spend time with Scarlet at home. The program is from a school I don't entirely respect in a field I'm not entirely fascinated with, but all knowledge is useful and I can find interest in anything, so this isn't a waste of time. I found lots to learn in my MBA program and I've never been interested in business. I wish WGU offered more degrees in more interesting fields, but I'll take anything I can get. There are many good things about this program and about my entering it. I'm mostly just excited to get started and see how many classes I can pull off in my first term. I love challenges.

So tomorrow is my last day to read and enjoy my free time. I'll probably spend most of my day wiping Scarlet's nose and trying to sneak a gummy vitamin into her mouth when she's not looking, but it won't matter what I do. I could skip it altogether because I am more than ready to get going on this new program. Here's to 2015!

It's 3 a.m. Gross.

So today (well yesterday) was family home evening and Josh and I needed to study up on all the candidates for the mid-season elections before we voted. That requires a lot of time and work, so we had planned to dedicate all of FHE to researching. Then I planned on taking some time to write for Nanowrimo. I had family in town for the weekend so I couldn't start writing until today (yesterday) which meant I was already behind and couldn't afford to miss a day. The concept of doing all that election studying and then nano writing was so daunting that instead I took a nap that lasted from 6 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. I was pretty appalled at myself for giving in to my irresponsible tendencies, so I got up just as Josh was getting to bed and I went out to the living room to study up on the candidates.

I got through all the candidates and constitutional amendments and judges and wrote down my selections in preparation for voting, then I started in on my novel. Technically by this time it's November 4, so I'm four days behind on nanowrimo, but I knew I wouldn't be able to write 1,667 words for each day of the month so far. Instead I concentrated on writing one day's worth. I got 1703 words written and considered that sufficient. Now I'm ready for bed except it's three a.m. and I don't think I can sleep yet.

This is really going to come back to haunt me in a few hours...

Sleepy Camilla is a Prude

So this morning I woke up wearing a robe over my pajamas and I couldn't figure out why. Josh woke up at the same time and looked over at me quizzically.

"Why are you wearing a robe?" he asked.

I really had to think back to figure out what happened last night but it came to me shortly after I really woke up. Josh had gone to bed before me because I had wanted to write in my journal, so I went to bed around an hour after Josh was already asleep. I was so tired yesterday that I was able to fall asleep fairly quickly. Then I woke up suddenly at 1 a.m. convinced of two things: that it was morning and I needed to get up, and that it was inappropriate for me to be lying next to a strange man in only my pajamas. In a bizarre burst of propriety, I felt compelled to get up and put on my robe. Then I checked the time and realized I still had more time to sleep, so I went back to bed.

This morning at breakfast I explained to Josh what I remembered from last night. He and I shared a great laugh but he pointed out something rather glaring:

"So it was inappropriate for you be wearing your pajamas without a robe...but it was perfectly fine for you to be sharing a bed with a stranger?"

Tired Camilla is only half-prude. The other half is one racy chick.

Camilla Takes on Homemaking

I don't really see myself as a crafty person, so activities like making cakes and costumes and wreaths and any other Pinterest-y thing doesn't really appeal to me. HOWEVER. My sister showed me these adorable costumes on Pottery Barn and when she showed me the pumpkin costume below, I was appalled for several reasons. First, observe the costume:

Cute, right? My first thought was that I could make that myself, it was that simplistic. You have to understand--I don't MAKE things, so to tell myself I could make it meant that I thought it was an incredibly simple design. And it is. Also, Pottery Barn, being the mecca of well-off homemakers that it is, was charging a whopping $79 for this simple getup, which offended my sentiments.

So I decided to steal the design and make the dress myself. I went to a fabric store for the first time in my marriage and bought what I hoped would be enough fabric and supplies. I really should have brought a picture of the costume with me, but I figured all I needed was some orange material, some orange tulle, and at the checkout stand I threw in some orange thread. That night I spent maybe three hours hand-stitching pieces of fabric together (I don't own a sewing machine because I don't sew) using the few sewing materials I got as a wedding present from Josh's mom. 

I had to sort of guess how to make buttonholes and it didn't even occur to me to buy buttons, so thank goodness I had a few in my sewing kit. I also HUGELY overestimated how much fabric to buy. I bought six yards of tulle and two of the orange cotton-ish stuff underneath. I could have bought half of each type of fabric and still had tons of extra. I guess I erred on the side of caution. Measuring Scarlet proved a difficulty as well. If I'd been smart about it, I would have taken some of her form-fitting clothes and used that as a basis, but instead, I tried to measure her while she was awake (big, wiggly mistake) and ended up creeping into her room after she went to sleep like a creeper and holding up a tape measurer to her still form. I finished the costume this morning after buying ribbon and the other accessories from Michael's. 

This is what the finished product looks like:

It looks ridiculously homemade, but I'm ridiculously proud of it anyway. Plus, it's trendy to make things, so whatever. I just saved $50. Take that, Pottery Barn.