Our landlord won't let us get a dog...

...so we put a leash on our two-year-old instead. I was embarrassed to have put a leash on my child like she's some sort of canine, but that went away in the first ten seconds.

The first ten seconds of her trying out the backpack with its "monkey tail"

Scarlet loves the monkey backpack and I love that she doesn't resent being steered away from oncoming traffic and that I don't have to constantly chase after her and pick her up. It has been increasingly more difficult to do that ever since I entered the third trimester.

Whenever Scarlet puts on her backpack, she expects to go somewhere. She insists on wearing it all day long regardless, but she also expects to go places. The backpack has apparently forced us all to be more active. Josh and Becca took her on a hike on Saturday. Then we went on a second hike later in the day that I could join in on. On Sunday we took her for a walk around the neighborhood. Yesterday we went on another hike for FHE. Today I took her for a walk during my lunch break. She has been more active than she's ever been before and it's thanks to that silly leash.

We discovered that using the stroller to get her places isn't very effective anymore because she grows restless and wants to run free. She also has no desire to live, so she doesn't pay any attention to sidewalks, streets, or oncoming traffic. The leash has cured us of all of those concerns. So if you are a parent of a toddler and feel the slight shame of having to kennel your child at night and serve dinner out of feeding bowls without utensils, don't be embarrassed! Go the extra mile and buy a leash for that kid as well. It'll make a world of difference.

Reading is Stressful

I can't read my books right now because they're stressing me out. In Middlemarch, the author worked for more than seven hundred pages to create the most complex entanglement of conflicts. There are exactly 130 pages left and I SERIOUSLY doubt she'll be able to resolve everything in such a short amount of time. In fact, the conflicts are so complex that many of them can't be resolved without affecting the happiness of other characters and their problems. I'm in such an agony over this conundrum and so terrified that the ending won't be as satisfyingly conclusive as I'd like it to be, that I can't seem to bring myself to finish the novel. And this is after six hard months of working through the book.

Then there's Gone With the Wind. My favorite movie ever, my favorite fictional character ever (Katie Scarlett), my favorite everything. I started reading this book and loved it so much that it was easy for me to get through the first four hundred pages and I kept telling Josh how enjoyable it was. Then things got tough for Scarlett and I'm not liking the personality change she's undergoing during this difficult time in her life. I'm worried that her little boy is too neglected and that there's something physically wrong with him as well. I'm scared to death that he's going to die and I can't seem to bring myself to read the next few hundred pages to find out. I'm not even halfway through the novel and I know the story so well that I know of other impending deaths that will make reading the rest of the book already difficult. But Scarlett's son doesn't exist in the movie so I have no idea his plight and I can't stand the thought that he'll die unloved and alone. It's breaking my heart. I had to put the book down and I haven't been able to pick it back up yet.

My third current novel is The Midwife's Tale. I have read the two sequel novels in this series but never the first book, so I was pretty happy to finally find it available at my library. The problem is that I've read the two sequels, so a big portion of this book's plot has already been recapped for me and I do NOT like what happens. Somewhere in the unread portion of the book there is an infant baby that is going to be murdered and the murderer is going to walk away free and that rankles me so deeply that I don't think I can bring myself to read about it at the moment.

So...I'm stuck. My books are too hard for me to emotionally cope with and that leaves me bored because I can't read. I suppose I could pick up a new book but what's the point? In my sensitive state, I'm sure I'll find something miserable about the story to latch on to, which will leave me unable to finish that book as well. In the meantime I've been looking at Netflix a LOT, trying to find *some* show or movie that entices me. Was tv always this stupid? Have I finally become an enlightened person who is too good for television? Ooh, never mind--there's a documentary on honey badgers**. Gotta go.


**Josh loves nature documentaries, so we legitimately watched this on Sunday night. I'm not proud of myself, but I was mildly entertained. Those honey badgers are crazy!

Scarlet Eats Noodles!

So last night Josh was the one with the craving--for Noodle and Co. We almost never go there because it never sounds appealing to me, but I had it at a work conference last week and decided it was pretty darn good, so we chose to splurge and buy dinner last night. We put Scarlet in the stroller and tossed a few library books in the back to return, and then went for a very beautiful spring walk through our neighborhoods. Noodles and Co. is about a twenty-minute walk from our apartment, so we got there fairly quickly, despite Scarlet literally NEEDING to stop and smell the flowers.

Josh was insistent that Scarlet get her own meal, which we almost never do because she just doesn't eat much and it's a waste of money to buy her food she won't eat. I deferred to Josh with a little bit of doubt in my mind, but I figured we could always just take Scarlet's leftovers home. Boy was I surprised when Scarlet downed her ENTIRE PLATE plus a breadstick. I was pretty floored. Scarlet enjoyed her meal so much, she could even be coaxed away from wandering over to other tables and eating on her dad's lap instead.

After dinner, we walked to the library on our way back home. Scarlet loves dancing and playing in the reading circle. We also let her play with the toy cars they have before picking up some books for ourselves and returning some old books. The weather was absolutely gorgeous the entire time we walked, with flower blossoms floating on the wind and brushing past our feet. It was a very relaxing evening.

Scarlet's Birthday Surprise

On Saturday, when we were passing out cupcakes in honor of Scarlet's birthday and she was opening up toys, books, and clothes from her family, we also had a bit of a reveal. We took off her hoodie sweatshirt and let her walk around in this little gem:

I love her unhappy face. She was upset to be taking a picture, but it looks like she's upset to lose her only child status. So funny to me!

After a year of wondering and waiting, we're happy to announce that we're finally having a second child! Baby number two (gender to be determined this Friday) should be here around July fourth, and Josh and I are so thrilled to add more tiny people into our tiny apartment. Life is so good right now!

Scarlet is Two!

Oh my gosh, I still can't even believe it. I've been calling her a two-year-old for months now and claiming that she has been acting like a two-year-old since she was 18 months, but now it's finally true! Scarlet turned two years old yesterday. *Fanfare trumpets*

We had a whole day of activities planned on Saturday, all of which were designed to let Scarlet have fun even though she had no idea why we were doing anything out of the ordinary and she probably didn't care at all. It was so much fun for Josh and me that we went ahead and did it all anyway. We started the morning off with our first ever visit to the aquarium. Scarlet was fascinated with the dull-colored fish at eye-level and less intrigued by the sharks, starfish, anaconda, penguins, and virtually any other, cooler creatures there. We caught one of those 3-D movies up on the second floor, not really paying attention to which movie was available, only that we were five minutes early for it, so we got in line. All of the pictures of the movies that I could see were computer-animated cartoons, so I knew it'd be kid-friendly.

It was not.

Apparently we caught a terrifying 20-minute film called Sea Monsters and it was horrifying. Scarlet insisted on being held by her dad after the first monster rose from the depths to reach out at those of us wearing our 3-D glasses. Random sprays of water or air burst out of the seats and the sides of the theater, terrifying me at random, unexpected moments and causing Josh to laugh at my growing irritation. Finally, after the little extinct sea creature's mother had been murdered and her older brother had also been murdered, we got to watch her sink slowly to the ocean floor as she died of old age. And then the film ended.

The three of us got up uncertainly after that shocking, sad, kid-unfriendly film and went to look at more fish, but the experience was sort of ruined after that, so we ended up leaving soon after. It was lucky we did, too, because the parking lot was jam-packed when we left and we had been lucky enough to get there close to opening so it wasn't very busy for most of our visit, but the crowds were pouring in as we left.

Scarlet fell asleep on the drive back home, so we put her down for her nap and I ran out to the bakery to get cupcakes for her non-party. When she woke up we had pizza for lunch and then took her to the dollar store so she could pick out a few cheap gifts for herself. We let her wander the toy aisle and she ended up only being interested in the empty gumball machines because they were very colorful even though she had no idea what they were. So I picked up a Magnadoodle knock-off, a doctor play kit, and a picture book for her myself. Back at home we wrapped them all up in the same birthday wrapping paper and then took Scarlet to her grandmother's house for dinner and cupcakes.

We had a meal of pasta and salad (Scarlet only ate the bread, which surprised no one) and then we sang to her and she got to blow out her candle (after virtually weeks of candle-blowing practice) and open up a couple of presents. It was a great birthday. I think my favorite part was how she seemed to sense that Josh and I were paying her particular attention (even more so than every other day) so she turned on the charm and just glowed under all the attention. She was so pleasant and wonderful all the time that I just loved spending the whole weekend devoting myself to whatever she wanted. Today she has her two-year checkup and we'll just have to see what her doctor has to say about her growth and progress.

Catch Up

Oh my gosh, so much has happened since I last blogged. Lots to gloss over since no one cares about long posts. Let's get going...

These past six weeks I have been inundated with school assignments and I've been loving every minute. I NEVER expected to enjoy this program, but I'm having a lot of fun with it. It's so intrinsic in my assessment work currently that I don't even have to study as hard or as long as maybe others might to get through a class. I'm steadily working my way through the course of study and enjoying the things I learn in a way I never expected. The MBA was SO BORING to me that I figured I wouldn't like this program either, but I got really lucky. Apparently I love instructional design! I think I love the layout and organization of the WGU course of study too, which really helps. It's just been a lot of fun and I'm really pleased that I am in this program.

Scarlet has been pushing our buttons for the past six months or so. She keeps pushing boundaries and pretending that all attempts to discipline her are just a hilarious joke. I recently took a personality quiz that said I'd struggle to discipline my children and I had to laugh. No kidding. I see the value in discipline but I have a hard time doing it myself. It just makes my heart hurt. I seriously never thought I'd be a softie but poor Josh has had to pick up my slack for months now. (Incidentally I just paused to put Scarlet in time out for yanking out my laptop cord when I warned her not to. See, I'm not a total slacker!) She is practicing sounding out the words we speak to her and she can go for weeks not saying a certain word we've been working on and then just out of the blue say it. The other day she just blurted out "Purple" for no particular reason. She was immediately showered with such praise, love, and affection that she felt no obligation to speak any new words for a few days. We're working on numbers, colors, and random simple nouns. She occasionally will make animal sounds (lions, cats, and dogs) and can now identify her nose, ears, and belly button. She may be quite a bit behind other almost-two-year-olds in speech development, but she is making wonderful progress in our eyes and we are thrilled with her.

Scarlet and I spent three weeks visiting my sister in Pittsburgh and we've been back home for just over a week now. It was a surreal experience. I loved being with my sister. I loved talking with her and watching Scarlet develop and progress so much faster with her four-year-old cousin around her, and I loved being able to provide tiny acts of service for my sister like babysitting on Friday nights so she and my brother-in-law could go on dates, and cleaning the kitchen. I didn't love working remotely (I just wanted to play with my sister and my niece!), and I HATED being a single mom (Scarlet often had hard nights so I got very little sleep), and of course I missed my husband fiercely. Josh passed the time by working 12- to 14-hour days and collapsing into bed afterward. He worked himself silly to avoid the empty apartment, but on some days he made the time to hang out with some work friends after hours since there was no one to come home to. Josh NEVER goes to movies or bowling or whatever--least of all with people who are not me and Scarlet--but he saw three movies in our absence and went bowling with his work friends. I was relieved that he wasn't spending all his time working or sleeping, but it was still hard to be without him for so long.

My sister and I took turns working on our schoolwork and babysitting the kids while I was in Pittsburgh, so the days were really busy after work. I remember feeling tired just all the time, but overall it was a wonderful trip. I'm attending an editor conference for work in March and it takes place in Pittsburgh (the coincidence made me laugh) so I'll get to see my sister again for a few quick hours next month. After that, I can't even fathom when I'll next see her. It is so hard for her to live so far removed from everyone else.

When we flew home and Josh picked up Scarlet for the first time, that little stinker wouldn't look at her father for a couple of hours. She allowed him to hold her, but she turned her head to avoid his gaze and when he caught her gaze, she closed her eyes to avoid him. It was a little sad, I guess, but it made me laugh so hard because it was just so funny to me. Scarlet did the same thing to me and Josh after we returned from Wales last summer, and just like that last trip, she got over it in a couple of hours and loved playing with her daddy.

Scarlet's birthday is on Sunday so we're taking her to the aquarium on Saturday to celebrate. We'll bring cupcakes up to her grandparents' house and sing happy birthday to her that night as well, so she'll know she's loved. I can't believe I'll have a two-year-old. This year has really just started off with a bang and I'm excited to see what the next six weeks bring.

Also, please enjoy this brief video depicting one of the many things Scarlet learned from her twice-as-old cousin:

2014 in Review

I've been so busy, I never got around to posting our year in review! Better eleven days into the new year than never, so here goes. *Scrounges around for pictures to upload* Okay, ready.

January was very calm. I have no pictures of January. I do have a list of resolutions I made in January that I did not complete this past year, but I made significant headway on a lot of goals, so that was nice.

February, my sister Emily left to serve her mission in California. She went to the MTC a couple of days after Scarlet's birthday, so she was here in time to celebrate, which was kind of nice. I got to take the day off to see her go into the MTC and it was just as fun/hard as it had been for the two other sisters I saw leave to serve missions the year before.

Scarlet's birthday fell on a Saturday this year, so we took her to the zoo, though it was clear that she was too cold and little to appreciate the animals. It was fun for us, anyway.

In March I think Josh and I had decided we were going to spend our July in Wales on a three-week tour with my old Welsh history professor (Tom) from college. We were so excited to go but it meant leaving Scarlet behind, which was a lot easier to deal with than the guilt and dread I struggled with all those months leading up to our trip. We started planning and saving for it as soon as we committed to it, and visited Tom in Provo with Scarlet to get as much information as we could about it.

Also in March, I got to visit my sister Heather and Allyse in Colorado. We had a marvelous time together even though I was working remotely. All of our children played together and we went to the zoo and we had more fun than I think I remember having in a long time. Heather has since moved from Colorado, so it'll be a long time before I next see her, but I have the best memories of this past visit.

In April, Rachel and I went down to Provo for a Wales reunion with the 2009 Wales gang (despite it having been five years since we had all gone to Wales together). It was a lot of fun to see everyone but now that so many people have moved away, I believe that may have been our last reunion ever. Well it was a good one.

In May, MEREDITH GOT MARRIED! Do you guys remember that? There was an awesome wedding shower where Margaret won the love and adoration of baby Jack. He is so fun to play with because he smiles so readily.

On Memorial Day weekend, Josh and I took Scarlet up to Wyoming to spend the weekend at a huge Wilson family reunion (my mother-in-law's family). The weather was beautiful and Scarlet was good-natured throughout it all, and we had so much fun with the family.

In June, my niece Brianna came to stay for two weeks, which meant she was just in time for the color run we did in downtown SLC! She ran too fast for me at first, but she got tired a whole lot sooner, so we ended up walking a lot during the last stretch. Doesn't matter--we were still total winners.

I also had Allyse and Heather come visit for a quick weekend in June. We all went to Wheeler Farm because there's nothing more fun than a really cheap wagon ride and an up-close view of farm animals. The kids were ecstatic.

And then our much-anticipated Wales trip was upon us. I packed everything I could possibly think of for Scarlet, and left copious notes for her grandparents who would be tending her in our absence. I missed her terribly during the flights that took us farther and farther from her, but after we settled in and got busy touring and taking photos, it grew easier to be apart from her. We got to skype with her almost every night (for her, it was mid-afternoon), and I did spend an excessive amount of time talking about her with my traveling companions and sharing photos of her, but I wasn't the nervous wreck I thought I'd be. We truly enjoyed our time there.

Because we weren't driving, I spent TONS of time reading. I think I read four books for each week I was there. It was insane. And I ate a lot of ice cream and got to see some truly enchanting sites. I don't know why Wales and England hold such a special place in my heart, but even just looking at these photos I feel peace and happiness. It was the best trip I've ever had in my entire life.

This is us riding in the van. We both read a TON while we traveled.

Raglan Castle. Tom took that photo from across the impressive moat. It's the castliest castle you'll ever see.

The Bridge of Sighs in Oxford

Stonehenge at sunset. We got to go right up to the stones and feel their enormity. As a bonus, a trio of new-age Wiccans gathered in the center of the stones and sang a song of rebirth or something. Talking to them afterward, we found them all to be utterly delightful people.

And my personal favorite place in all of the UK: Tintagel Castle. Supposedly (incorrectly) the birthplace of King Arthur. Mostly just a stunning ruins of a seaside castle with the bluest ocean and the greenest foliage. I feel like the whole place is enchanted with a blanket of ancient magic that keeps that place from ever being touched by modernity. It feels almost sacred there and I hope I return to it one day.

At the beginning of August, Scarlet was fast outgrowing her pack-n-play, so we bit the bullet and bought her a twin-size bed. The first two nights she fell out of it and woke up startled but not screaming. After that, she quit moving around so much and hasn't fallen out of it since.

Although sometimes she still chooses to sleep on the floor.

She still seems impossibly little to have a bed of her own.

In the middle of August, Heather came to visit again! I can't believe how many times I've seen this sister of mine, but I'll never get tired of it. She lives so far away and it's such a treat when she comes to stay. Here she is, helping Scarlet stay on the spinny thing at the park. What a nice aunt!

At the end of August, Rachel and Jonathan had their long-awaited baby Hazel. She was absolutely beautiful when she was born, but a few months later, during conference weekend, she was even cuter. 

Scarlet mostly ignores Hazel but she seemed not to mind holding her just this once.

Then September arrived. That month is extra special for me because it holds my birthday, my work anniversary (okay that one's not so significant to me), and my wedding anniversary. Josh and I went to our favorite restaurant, Cucina Tuscana, for dinner for our anniversary. During the middle of the month, my sister Rebecca came home from her mission, so Scarlet and I flew down to visit the family for a week. Scarlet got to meet the captain on one of the plane rides and seemed to think it wasn't much of a big deal.

I also got the idea of making Scarlet's costume, so this is her trying it on for the first time. She was obsessed with the little pumpkin at her waist and wouldn't let go of it.

This is relevant to nobody, but I was driving on the freeway and saw Swoop, the U of U hawk, driving all bad-A-style on his motorcycle going 80 mph. It was the oddest site, so I took a dangerous photo to prove to Josh it had actually happened.

Then in October, so so many things happened. Stephen and O'Malley got married, and I sneaked a photo of Bobby dancing with Scarlet at the reception. That whole weekend just felt really busy and overwhelming because all of us were there to set up and decorate and do a million things for the reception. By the time I flew back home, I was ready for a break. Josh didn't come down with us, though, because he was taking AND PASSING his second actuarial exam. Woo-hoo! Two down and a million thousand twenty more to go.

Then three different sisters and their families came to visit. Bob and Bobby came up for a quick visit, then Allyse and Richard, and then Nicole. All of them brought their children and all of them stayed with us, and all of them went to Cornbelly's. I'm so glad I bought the season pass this year. It was well used.

Richard and Karter

Nicole's kids and Scarlet on the way to Cornbelly's.

Nicole's kids and Scarlet on the way back from Cornbelly's.

Bob's kids crashing for the night on my living room floor.

In November, I sort of took a break. I wasn't prepared for Nanowrimo so I didn't really do it this year. I slowed down on my reading and I just sort of enjoyed each day as it came. We spent Thanksgiving in Salt Lake City with Josh's family, which was nice and relaxing, and we bought a new washer and dryer on black Friday, because after four years, you really should own one of those things.

In December, I was still going through this weird "recovery" of the year, where I didn't feel compelled to do anything really motivating, like read a thousand books, or write a thousand stories. Instead, I took a very zen attitude about the whole season. I didn't end up buying a tree because Josh and I were going to be spending the Christmas holiday in Vegas. Scarlet and I left even sooner than we planned because we found a great price on a flight, so we went down the weekend before and enjoyed a full week of festivities and family and family photos (none of which I have at the moment) and the permeating spirit of Christ. It was a truly spectacular holiday. Josh and I even spent a couple of nights in a hotel so we could have a private Christmas with just our family in the midst of visiting all the family that was in town for the holiday. It's always been a dream of mine to spend Christmas in a hotel, and it really fulfilled the fantasy to wake up Christmas morning, pull Scarlet into our bed, and help her open up new toys from Santa. It felt very intimate and private and really special. I think I'd like to do it again one year, but Josh had a hard time spending time away from family, so I'll indulge his Christmas wishes for a few years before pressing mine again.

When we got back home, Josh and Scarlet finally succumbed to the illness that had been spreading from person to person in Vegas. It didn't taint the holiday exactly, but it's never any fun knowing someone's child is sick or so-and-so missed dinner because they're resting. I never got sick, but Scarlet took the rest of the year (a full seven days) to recover and was such a fussy baby that I'm still amazed when I see her so happy and pleasant now because I'd forgotten what a sweet person she had been before she got really sick.

The new year has already started off with a bang. I'm a week into my school and one class is already behind me. I'm motivated and excited to get as much school done as quickly as possible just to see how fast I can push myself. Scarlet is practicing her sounds nearly every waking moment (she only has a few words so far), and Josh and I are enjoying our time together in between work and family responsibilities. I have a feeling 2015 is going to be even more eventful than the last year. Happy new year to everyone and I hope you've all had a truly spectacular year!