How My Daughter Has Changed My Body

This isn't going to be a blog post about the physical transformation of my body from pre- to post-baby. Although I have plenty to say on that subject and there is a plethora of other moms out there with their own posting on the topic, I mean to address the less noticeable changes of my body due to the existence of that adorable 18-month-old.

Josh and I went for a walk last week and for the first time ever, we let Scarlet walk by herself in front of us on the sidewalk. Everything was fine until Scarlet started to veer off the sidewalk toward the street just as we heard an approaching car turn onto the road behind us. Josh and I bolted toward Scarlet and I got to her first and snatched her up before she touched the street. Josh made to pick her up from out of my arms, but whether he could read something in my face or whether he just knew, he said instead, "I think Mommy needs to hold you for a minute, Scarlet." Somehow the only way to stop my pounding heart is to hold her little body up against it. Physical change number one: I can run faster than I ever had before--even faster than my husband, whose legs are several inches longer than my own.

Scarlet loves to be tossed in the air. I didn't dare swing her or play roughly with her when she was fairly young because she lacked the muscle strength to hold her limbs steady and she could never have held her head up safely as a newborn. Once she passed the year mark, however, I really started to play. I toss her in the air and catch her on the way down. I love how her face lights up, her mouth opens in a soundless grin, and she holds her breath until she's back in my arms, where she transports into giggles and laughter. She is fast approaching 30 pounds, but she doesn't feel particularly heavy when I heft her into the air and catch her again repeatedly. Physical change number two: My arms are stronger than they ever were before.

When I'm working on the couch, the laptop resting on the arm of the sofa, sometimes Scarlet gets jealous of the infernal computer and demands my attention. I have gotten very good at taking small, five-minute breaks frequently throughout the day so that I can give Scarlet some attention and occupy her with some activity before returning to work. Sometimes, however, when I don't have time to play with her, I'll let her lean on my legs and I'll lift up her body with my legs and bounce her and swing her from side to side, all while I remain typing at the computer. Physical change number three: My legs are stronger than they ever were before.

So yes, my body has changed for the worse in many respects: I can't run for as long, I can't hold a plank for 60 seconds anymore, I can't fit into my old jeans, not to mention the changes that are too indecent to write about (but more plaguing and permanent than all the others), but I also have changed for the better. I love the new me because it comes complete with a smiling girl who is currently dumping her sippy cup water over her pasta salad in her high chair. So, so worth it.