Stream of Consciousness Update

I have all these random things to say, so a disorganized blog entry is a good place to say them. First of all, Josh and I did the Dirty Dash! Anna did it with us and the three of us had such a blast. Anna even bought a picture to memorialize the event but she asked not to be posted on public places like this blog or facebook, so I did crop her out but only because I love her--not out of shame or vanity or some such nonsense.

The whole time we were there, we kept talking about how awesome it would be if Margaret had been able to do it with us. Team Grasshopper wasn't quite the same without her, but she was recovering from HAVING A BABY! so she was duly excused.

Let's see, I have here a picture of nutella-strawberry-banana-buckwheat pancakes. Josh and I make blueberry pancakes every week for Sunday breakfast but one Sunday we tried something different. They turned out pretty yummy, but I like Nutella as a dessert rather than a breakfast spread and the buckwheat texture is a bit too grainy to eat with something as smooth as chocolate. It was like mixing brussel sprouts with cotton candy. Different worlds.

Still delicious, though.

I'm steadily working my way through my schoolwork. I've got four out of five tasks completed for financial analysis and I passed the first task for leadership although I don't technically start that class until next Monday. I also finished risk management my first weekend back in school. Not bad for my first month back. I just really want to be done with my schoolwork so I can spend my free time playing with Scarlet. She could take up all my time if I let her. I wish I could let her. Hopefully I'll be able to knock out my MBA classes this term and be finished in time to participate in NANOWRIMO this year. I can't have schoolwork hanging over my head come November, so I just have to finish everything this term. I did 12 CUs last term, which is barely more than required. That means I have 21 CUs to complete this term, but I have to do it around work and Scarlet. I can totally do it. I think. I'll try anyway.

My family's coming up to visit me next weekend! I'm so flattered because there's no reason for it--they're just visiting. I love it so much! I can't wait to show them Scarlet's room. Her room is surrounded with books since that's where we're keeping our bookcases. Sometimes I go in there and sit on the rocking chair and just read while she's napping. It's a wonderful room. I love that she finally has a room of her own. It's done wonders for my sanity since her small sleep noises no longer wake me up all night long.

Last Saturday I was supposed to work on my school but instead Josh and I hiked up to Timpanogos Cave and took a tour with Scarlet. Scarlet cooed and talked throughout the entire tour, requiring Ranger Molly to talk louder to be heard over Scarlet. It didn't help that the cave was pretty echo-y. It was both funny and embarrassing. I proudly carried Scarlet up the trail (1,065-foot rise in elevation over 1.5 miles. Very steep!) I had to stop every two or three minutes because I was so out of breath. Josh kept offering to carry Scarlet, but I just really wanted to say that I had carried her up the mountain (Josh keeps referencing Holes and Stanley's relative carrying the pig up the mountain). It took 70 minutes but I totally did it. I carried her through the cave too but then I gave up and let Josh carry her down the mountain. Enough is enough.

I washed out my shoes thoroughly after the Dirty Dash but they were tight and stiff when I wore them on Saturday, so I rubbed quite a few blisters on my heels, the backs of my feet, and several toes. I even have a callus on one of the knuckles of one of my toes. My shoes had to be completely broken in again during that hike even though I'd had the pair for several years and have even run a 5k in them. I guess soaking them in the bathtub made them shrink up a bit after the Dirty Dash? In any case, my feet are recovering at the same pace as my sore calf muscles. What a fun Saturday, though! Afterward we went to the Kneader's about 7 miles away from the cave, but there was a line out the door (Highland's only Saturday-night venue maybe?) so we drove back to Murray and went to the Kneader's close to our house. Holy cow, that place makes some awesome sandwiches! I had only eaten breakfast there so I didn't know how amazing the place was until this past weekend. Wowza. We thoroughly enjoyed our sandwiches after putting Scarlet to bed. We watched a National Geographic episode on Netflix about hammerhead sharks (we are such nerds) and then collapsed into bed. Scarlet was kind enough to let us sleep until six a.m.

That's about it, I guess. A lot of random stuff, but that's sort of life right now for me. Lots of Scarlet and school and fun. I knew 2013 would be an amazing year, and the first half of it sure lived up to expectations.

Scarlet's Four-Month Check-up

Scarlet is four months now! It's crazy because I feel like I *finally* know what I'm doing with her and what she's like. I don't freak out about every movement and hiccup and frown and sniffle. Don't get me wrong--I'm a long way off from experienced--but it's nice to not be guessing and stressing out all the time. We sort of have a groove now.

So I took her to the pediatrician's for her second round of immunizations. She is such a trooper with those shots. The first time I took her I thought she would be traumatized and cry for hours, and then I thought I would be traumatized and cry for hours, but we both behaved very well. She cried for four or five seconds and then stared around. Today, she cried while the needle was in her thigh (less than two seconds) and then stopped. She is a rock star.

She sported these two little bandaids on her legs (I had to hold her legs apart to take a picture of the the two bandaids) for a day or so and the tiny scabs healed over in a couple of days.

The nurse came in while I was holding Scarlet and she asked if Scarlet was asleep. I said no, she was just cuddling into me. The nurse was so sweet and sort of gushed about how lucky I was to have a cuddly baby. Then she went out to get the shots and came back in after the doctor had seen Scarlet. The nurse asked again if Scarlet had fallen asleep. I reiterated that she was still just cuddling and the nurse started all over again with affirmations of my great fortune. I do feel lucky, though--cuddly babies are the absolute best.

In other news, the doctor said she can start being introduced to real foods if we want to, but Josh and I agreed we'll wait just one more month. It'll be amazing to not have to get everything done in two-hour increments in between feedings, but she's just way too young to think about weaning her off nursing entirely. When she is five months, we'll start trying her out on some fruits and vegetables for fun. The doctor said when we pick a food we should let her body adjust to that one food for a few days before trying a new food item. By that measurement, it'll take her like a month to try five new things, but that's okay because she'll probably be nursed for at least another six months anyway. We can take it slow with the food things.

She's now too big for her 1-3 month clothes and I'm devastated. When did she get so big? Will she really never fit into that adorable dress again? My heart is broken and my only consolation is that she has some pretty cute clothes lined up for the next segment of growth as well. There's just so much to look forward to with this baby!

Timing

So I have a schedule in the mornings. I wake up at 6:30, feed Scarlet, get dressed, eat breakfast, make the bed, and sign in to work by 7:00. This schedule is perfect because Josh doesn't leave for work until 7:30, so I have time enough to get ready for the day while he plays with Scarlet. When I need to shower, I wait until Josh leaves for work, Scarlet has had her second feeding of the day, and she goes down for her nap. That gives me time to take a 15-minute break from work to jump in the shower.

Flash back to last night. While doing the dishes, Josh and I noticed an unpleasant smell and a slight pooling of water in the corner of the kitchen where the washer and dryer should go. We don't have a washer and dryer, so we just put our laundry basket and our laundry detergent there. It turns out the faucet-looking things that are supposed to connect to the washer and provide water were leaking down our walls and soaking our tile. So we called Scott our landlord and he said he'd be by to check on them, not specifying when.

Back to this morning, I am feeding Scarlet just before putting her down for her nap when Josh sends me a text saying to make sure I'm ready in case Scott shows up today. I smile because I know I will be ready in ten minutes as soon as I can get Scarlet to sleep. She goes to sleep, I go into the bathroom to shower, and a knock comes from the front door.

Oy.

Scott's timing is just awful.

School Woes

I spent six hours today working on a single task for my class. It was pretty discouraging because although I definitely answered all thirteen prompts and completely filled fifteen pages, I still have to attend two more study sessions and review my work before I'll feel confident enough to submit it. I started the assignment last Wednesday and have been working on it ever since.

I was supposed to work on this class during my maternity leave to give myself a head start, but I didn't do a single school-related thing while on leave and it was a struggle to get back into the groove of school once my leave was over. I technically started on June first, but we moved into a new apartment and it took a little bit for me to stop finding nooks for all of our things and start focusing on my schoolwork. I've now talked to my mentor three times in three weeks and I still don't have a single task completed to show for it. It's getting very discouraging.

The other aspect of this task is that it's part one out of five, and I've never had a more difficult or a longer class in my program before. I'm pretty sure this is the class that makes or breaks a lot of MBA students and I just have to get through it. Josh helped me out a bit by pointing out that once I submit this task (and it hopefully passes evaluation), I'll be 20% finished with this nightmare of a course. Here's hoping the rest of the course doesn't take as much time or effort because my brain is just fried. I tried to work on another class this evening after I finished up that task, but my eyes wouldn't focus and my mind kept wandering. I guess I needed a break, so Josh and I watched a couple episodes of Master Chef instead (It's our one summer show and we just love it).

Tomorrow I'll get started on more school with a different class and a different task. I'll also attend a study session and work on a super-fast edit for a friend's book. If I get all of that done tomorrow, I'll feel like I can totally do this school thing again. Here's hoping I'm able to focus!

Memorial Day Weekend

So this weekend Josh and I brainstormed a lot of ideas for how we could spend our extra day together. I had originally planned to spend the whole day working on schoolwork but that sounded so un-fun and a huge waste of precious Josh time, so I threw that idea out the window pretty quickly. Instead, Josh took Scarlet after I fed her in the morning so that I could sleep in for the first time in a while. (We've been sleep-training her and it's been exhausting for both of us, although Josh is able to sleep through some of it.) At a more morning hour, we made some honey-cinnamon-peach buckwheat pancakes for breakfast and then got Scarlet dressed for the day. Then we headed out to Costco to get some shopping done, only to find out that Costco was closed for the holiday. So we skipped the errand and went straight to Park City to check out the outlet mall. I love shopping there, and Josh was surprisingly good (he hates all shopping. Even grocery shopping tires him out and leaves him cranky). We bought some work slacks and a shirt for Josh and a shirt and a skirt for me. Scarlet got nothing since we're not allowed to buy her clothes until she outgrows all the clothes we have for her now. (She has more outfits than both of her parents combined and even more to come when she grows a little more.)

We went home for some quick laundry and lunch, after which we drove to the cemetery in Sandy so Scarlet could meet her great-grandparents, her great-great-aunt, and her great-great-grandmother. All of her relatives remained quiet and so did she, but I like to think they got along.

After the cemetery, we went to the grocery store, picked up some food to tide us over until Costco opens again, and then went out to dinner at Zupa's. When we got home we put Scarlet to sleep and I actually sat through an entire episode of Doctor Who (voluntarily) before we went to bed.

I had a wonderful time with my family. I'm so glad we had that extra day.

Close One

Josh, Scarlet, and I went hiking up at Ensign's Peak this morning. Josh strapped Scarlet to his chest via a baby carrier and I put on my trusty Camelbak and off we went.

As we struggled up the steep incline I noticed that Josh was not panting hard, despite having Scarlet to carry in addition to himself. I pointed out to Josh, "You're doing very well with all the added weight."

He responded, "Thank you. So are you."

He swears he was referring to the Camelbak I was carrying.

Close one, Josh

Getting Back to Normal

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted. I've been kind of busy with this little lady:

It's amazing how she's turned my life upside-down. I knew it was a big commitment to have a baby, so Josh and I waited a couple of years until we felt ready to give all of our love to our children. I knew it meant giving all of my time, sacrificing my body, and shifting my priorities, but I had no idea I'd be giving up all my hobbies, too. I can't just sit and read a book because Scarlet won't behave for that long. She keeps interrupting this blog post with her cries for attention. We were late for church for the first time in forever (even though we were were all dressed and ready to go an hour early) because Scarlet was being fussy and demanded to have an extra-long feeding for comfort. I knew my priorities would shift, but I really didn't expect to have only one priority. It's been an adjustment, but waking up to this smiling baby every morning helps me stay positive.

I've started to slowly return to my old routine. The first return I had to adjust to was actually personal grooming. They told us in the baby class that it might be difficult to feel pretty and well-put-together during those initial weeks after having the baby. Your body feels weird and you're sore and tender and recovering. Well, I didn't expect to struggle just to get in a regular shower and to get dressed. I had to start pushing back my get-ready time from when I first woke up to when Scarlet was fed and let me leave her for twenty minutes. I would sneak in a shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, put in my contacts, blow-dry my hair, and grab a bowl of cereal as quickly as possible. I've gotten pretty good at it, and of course, I can sleep in on the weekends when Josh is around to help, so it's not been a bad adjustment.

The second return to my old routine involved work. I knew I had to be able to give an honest 8-hour day at my job despite Scarlet's needs, and that was a tricky balancing act. I think I've gotten the hang of it, though, since the nature of my work requires me to work intensely some hours but not very much at other times. I can work very intensely during Scarlet's nap times and when she's being pleasant in her swing. That has allowed me to get quite a lot of work done, to the point that I asked for more to do and was given this massive and awesome assignment.

The next return has been my reading. I thought I would do nothing but read on maternity leave and I was really looking forward to it, but that was not the case. I could barely find the time when Scarlet would let me--mostly I sneaked in books while she was sleeping in my arms. I've gotten better since then at finding time to read. I have this huge list of books I want to read this year and I was pushed off track when Scarlet was born. It was easier to watch ten minutes of television than to be interrupted ten minutes into a book, so I usually watched television instead of trying to complete my reading list during my maternity leave. This past month was the first time I had not finished reading my book club book in time for our next meeting. It was terribly depressing, and I vowed not to let it happen again. I read the book retroactively and now I'm working diligently on the next book so that I come prepared to the next meeting. Mothers with young children read all the time--I should be no different. I just have to make it a bigger priority.

The final return--and the one I've been dreading the most--was with my schoolwork. I originally took a two-month sabbatical from school but then I pushed it to three months because I was nowhere near ready to return to school. I wasn't organized or in the right mindset. I now have three more weeks before I start my second term at WGU, and I need to get back in the habit of doing schoolwork.

Josh and I have worked out this little arrangement that we started yesterday. After dinner, when Scarlet is at her neediest, Josh has agreed to take care of her exclusively for two hours so I can get uninterrupted studying done. It worked okay so far, but I can't believe how little I can accomplish in two hours. I'll really have to work to keep from getting discouraged at my pace. Maybe as Scarlet gets older, it will be less difficult to fit schoolwork into our routine, but in the meantime I'll keep trying since school is definitely something I'd like to be able to bring back.

And  there you have it. Little by little I'm balancing out my old life with my new. And if I ever get discouraged at the inefficient and plodding pace at which I do things now, I'll just keep reminding myself:

...it was all worth it.