Try This On For Size

So while I'm working very minimally for Jennaleigh Bridal (also affiliated with I and A Tuxedo) I have to memorize a whole buttload of information about measurements. I know how to take in or let out a sleeve or a pant leg, and I can measure men for shirts and pants. But the real memorization comes into play when we get to the jacket. Do you know how many jackets there are? Like, thirty. And they each have their own subtle differences that I'm supposed to understand and separate by price in my head. Bah. So I figured while I have to memorize all this information, I might as well educate you guys. Suckers.

The classic tuxedo has a few distinct qualifications: it has a satin lapel and is made of either worsted wool, super 100 wool (lighter, more breathable, and more expensive wool) or a silk and wool blend (for striped suits). The pants have a satin stripe down the outseam and typically come with pleats, but for some reason this is embarrassing for European customers, so we also carry flat-fronted pants. (They like no room in their pants. It's really uncomfortable and weird to dress the European tourists.) The shirt is either a 400 wingtip shirt or a 200 laydown collar shirt. Laydowns look just like any other dress shirt except that we insert studs in the button holes and every shirt is designed to hold cufflinks. The 400s have a stiff straight collar that bends slightly at the edges. Jonathan wore a 400 with a 2-button notch jacket for his wedding (the Centennial, as far as I can tell). There's also the Mandarin shirt, which has a button covering at the neck and the collar stands straight up an inch high. It looks Asian-ish and is popular for proms.

Now then, the jackets. We have dozens of kinds and I can tell you where almost all of them are in the store. I think. But I'm not gonna write all that down. I just wanna get down the different kinds. There's the shawl, which has a a smooth, unpointed lapel that ends in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 buttons, depending on whether it's single-breasted (462), double-breasted (1001), or carries extra buttons somewhere (Positano, Alpha, DBDB, or PSDBB). The Dimension II is a double-breasted 1001 with an extra layer of shawl. It's a little odd.

The Verdi, Mirage, and Apollo are 3/4-length jackets with Mandarin collars. We reserve the extra long 3/4-length jackets for extra tall men. The Bohmen would look very nice in a 3/4 jacket, like the Cannes, Matrix, or Napoleon, which are long jackets, but with a lapel. The Matrix has a crazy checkered pattern on the lapel, and the Mirage has no lapels or buttons and also comes in striped. The Cutaway is a 3/4-length jacket that tapers to the back and can come in grey. British guys getting married love to wear that one, because they like to wear colors other than black for weddings, so we carry grey, latte, ivory, and white in a lot of our styles.

An old-fashioned style is the Peak design, which is like a notched lapel except one of the notches extends farther than the other one. A reverse peak is found only on the Napoleon. Then the most common style is the notch. The only difference between the Centennial jacket and a regular jacket (standard 1- or 3-button notch) is the satin-lined lapel. The Centennial has two buttons, and it was designed on the 100-year anniversary of the tuxedo company that designed it. It's a remake of the original James Bond tux, which I think is pretty cool. We also have the Savoy, which has a velvet trim along the lapel, and the Jaguar, which has these really suave stripes running down it. I like the C20 Shiny, which has some sort of sparkly material added into it, so that it glimmers a little. We call it the Vegas tux, because tourists love the glamour it adds when they're under a lot of night light. It also shows up really well in pictures. Then there's the C82110, which is a claiborne, so it's really expensive. The Nuvo II has three layers of lapel, and the Phoenix is my favorite because it is super light and has a much thinner lapel than any other. It looks great on tall thin men. Josh would look fantastic in it.

Anyhoo, there are a lot more, but I just realized how boring this blog is, so Ima stop here. We also have around 370 wedding dresses from sizes 2 (0) through 52, with the largest selection between 8 and 16. Prices range from $150 t0 $1000 and we also sell gowns for around $1400. But they're coutoure dresses, so they're made in Spain by one of the best designers, hand-stitched, and designed to order, so I don't wanna hear whining about the price. When I told my boss I spent about $200 on my own wedding dress, she almost choked on her trail mix. Yup. I can't even rent a dress that cheap at Jennaleigh.

Anyway, that's an idea of the kinds of tuxedos and dresses we carry. I imagine almost no one read this whole blog because it's surprisingly boring, but I'm posting it anyway because, well, I took the time to write it. At best, it was a nice review of the things I'm supposed to be remembering. Next time, maybe I'll detail how we clean returned dresses. That's a nightmarish tale of scrubbing and OxiClean the likes of which no one has read before. Maybe I won't scare you guys with that kind of stuff. I don't know.

Status Update

So I officially suck at blogging, because I haven't posted anything since my now-fully healed bruise, Bertha the Magnificent, was born. That's crazy. Let me catch you all up.

I've discovered a new show, Rookie Blue, that's pretty cool. Watched all five episodes in one night. I am one week from finishing my last class from CSN, and then I'll have a diploma. Yippee. Technically, I should leaving for class right now, but I didn't finish my outline and bibliography for my third speech, so I'm staying home to finish researching, and then I'll deliver my speech tomorrow for 90% of the grade. I slept in this morning when I set the alarm for 3 and woke up at 5 instead, so I didn't have time to finish researching.

I have a currently healing burn spot on my left thumb. My thumb has a dark brown spot between the two knuckles and some of the skin is starting to bubble and split. It's two parts cool, one part icky. I earned it from steaming eight dress shirts at Jennaleigh last week. My other thumb and my middle finger on my left hand are also shedding dead skin from previous burned spots. I don't think I'm getting any better at steaming.

I work three days a week at Jennaleigh and an imaginary amount of hours at Carls Jr. They hired me, but I have yet to be called in, so basically I just work at Jennaleigh. It's really difficult work because I have to keep memorizing the millions of jackets we carry and the different sizing of pants and shirts. Josh is an L 6-7 dress shirt. Just in case you were wondering. I'd love to work more hours because it's stressful not to be working, but basically I'm just grateful I have any job at all. I like to be busy, even if my boss is insane and really mean and treats everyone like they're idiots. Working is worth it. Plus I get paid every week, which is kinda cool.

I got a speeding ticket on my way home from class last Wednesday. That sucked. $190 will go to the court next week when I have to go downtown to pay it. The cop cut me a break and knocked the ticket down a hundred bucks by claiming I only drove 10 miles over instead of 20. Thanks, guy. I'm thinking I might just hire a lawyer to take care of the ticket. They can get tickets reduced or waived most times. I looked up a couple of firms and I have to call to find out what they charge, but if it ends up being cheaper than the ticket, then Ima go for it.

My mom has agreed that she will dedicate most of tomorrow to helping me create a lace-up for the back of my wedding dress because I really want one and the dress didn't come with it. That should be really boring and home ec-ish, but it'll be cool when it's done. I wish I sewed better, but it's like cooking: if I'm too good, then I'll feel like I'm destined to stay at home and cook and sew and that grates on me. So I remain mediocre at both skills and strive to gain excellence in academic pursuits instead. My sisters think I'm retarded, but I can't help it, and what do they know, really? Every last one of them loves staying home and cooking for their husbands. Ugh.

I've been really lax about working on my novels, but I think I'm gonna pick that up again once school is over. I should probably file for graduation sometime soon. I think I'll go look that up now. Hmm. I hope they don't force you to walk, because there's no way I'm paying for a cap and gown for a community college. My dad says they require you to participate in graduation ceremonies because otherwise no one would go to those things. I don't see how that's a bad thing. If they tell me I have to, I'll fight it. I hate you, CSN. You tricked me into taking one more class, and I'd punch you in the face if you had one.

Anyhoo, that's life. Things are good, if a little boring. I wish something cool would happen like Josh would come down this weekend and I could give him the present I've been dying to show him for weeks. That'd be sweet. But I can only dream...

Big Bertha the Bruise

So I lost my makeup bag. It sucked, cause I had to use my mom's makeup on Sundays for church., and while I'm super grateful, (thanks, Mom!), it was still difficult for me because my mom uses a very monotone palate of brown. I can't do brown. I do every other color, but not brown. And I am a firm believer that lipstick should be colorful, not...brown.

Anyhoo, Stephanie found my bag hidden underneath the downstairs bathroom sink. Awesome. She was so happy to give it to me that she chucked it across the room to me. Since she didn't give me anything resembling a heads up, I noticed a flying blue bag out of the corner of my eye and caught it before it hit the floor...well, my knee caught it. It hurt.

I don't think Stephanie took into consideration how heavy makeup is. Especially hooker makeup, which is the only kind I know. I now have a giant bruise on my knee. I shall call her Bertha for her great size. She shall be known throughout the land as the finest bruise there ever was. And she will do great things.

Lisa the Awesome is Awesome!

Story's going well. Major points in the plot are coming together. Still a lot of danger to insert to make the storyline more thrilling, but it's going well. I'm super excited to be writing again! Huzzah!

Families and Feminists

Josh and Rachel looked through their "next blog" list to find out what other blogs were similar to theirs. That's cool, I thought. I'll try it. So I next blogged my way through half a dozen extremely boring family blog posts. Ugh. Family blogs. One of them was a crazy Christian woman who couldn't go three sentences without talking about Jesus. That's fine and all that she's proud of her faith, but it'd be really cool if all her sentences were related to one another and not randomly thrown together. I was getting pretty dejected over these lousy family blogs when I came across a feminist doula. Awe. Some. Now we're getting somewhere. This lady was super cool and had the same standpoint on breast-feeding as half my family. Plus she just got her masters in public health. I liked her.

So my blog may be similar to a bunch of boring old families with lots of pictures of the kids, but at least me and my pal the doula are similar, too. Stay strong, sista!