Chocolate: The Love-Hate Relationship

So I'm human. I have weaknesses. Some of them are very, very apparent.

In fifth grade, my teacher nicknamed me Chocolate Girl. Not very inventive, but decidedly accurate. He used to buy fun-sized chocolate bars to give to people who answered questions and really helped participate in the discussion. I was the most active 10-year-old academic you ever saw.

Then I moved on to junior high, where the highlight of that awful, awful experience was saving up 75 cents to buy a chocolate bar during lunch. I didn't always get it, but man did it make my day better when I had the money. I think about 7th grade was when those sour skittles came out in a big way. EVERYone had them during lunch. The snack shop ran out of them daily, they were that popular. So while everyone was sitting around munching on tart, gross candy, I'd buy the lone chocolate bar and be blissfully happy. Chocolate IS bliss, you know.

My sisters tried to quell my chocolove. Nicole told me it would give me pimples. Rachel said it would make me fat. I ignored them. (One of them was more correct than the other, but we'll just skirt over that issue, shall we.) I loved chocolate and it loved me and we would always be together.

Well, for the most part, we have. It's been a rocky few years now that I'm in my 20s. When I studied abroad in Wales I discovered all kinds of candies that used magic for chocolate and I think I gained like 20 pounds of bliss. It was wonderful carting that blissful 20-pound memory around with me for a couple of months after I returned from the UK. But that's part of the problem with chocolate--I love it and it loves me, but it's too clingy. Sometimes it acts like it owns me, you know? Like my body is not my own, but chocolate's.

It's harder now, too, trying to balance my time between my two loves (chocolate and what's-his-name, that guy I married). Chocolate and I have sometimes not been on speaking terms. Sometimes when I tried to break up with chocolate, I'd cry in the middle of the night and chocolate would hear and come to me. Chocolate and I are best friends and no matter how many times I sever ties, chocolate always comes back, comforting me and helping me realize that I'll never be alone. Because I have chocolate.

I love chocolate. I hate chocolate. I'm eating chocolate right now. *sigh*