Lowered Expectations Make For Great Viewing

So my sister Emily and I have a time-honored tradition of going to the midnight premiere of the latest stupid twilight movie and quietly mocking it amidst the general screams and cheers of girlish fans. We enjoyed the past two experiences greatly, with much shared laughter. But this time, upon taking our seats, we were unable to laugh more than a few times. We barely snickered at the plot. Taylor Lautner was bare-chested fewer than ten times. Edward stopped looking painfully at Bella and started to actually say things. Even Bella was less annoying. We were so prepared for sheer idiocy (reminiscent of the terrible New Moon ordeal), that we were able to be blown away by the final movie.

Eclipse wasn't half bad. Of course, by movie standards I'd give it a C+, but by twilight standards, it gets an A. When you walk away from the laughable teenage sexual angst of New Moon, anything resembling substance suddenly seems like the greatest film ever made. Eclipse was just such an experience. Yes, it was overly long and the Bella/Edward scenes could have been cut in half, but the exciting action and the thrilling music score made for an enjoyable experience. Emily and I even agreed that we might rent this movie from a redbox at some point in the distant future. It was that not-sucky.

Employed Again!

So today I started training for my two new jobs. The first one is for Carl's Jr. I get to be the cashier because my new boss says she wants my winning smile out in front of the customers. Yippee. Then I drove 45 min downtown (behind the Bellagio, just past the Palms) and started training on shirt variations and sizing at this bridal and tuxedo renting place that caters to the casinos. I learned how to steam shirts, raise and lower hems, lengthen pants hems, package gowns, and measure men for tuxedos. Did you know that the pants are meant to start at a man's waist and not his hips? That's news to me. And also that you're supposed to leave a finger's-space in the collar after you measure it. Guy's shirt measurements are crazy weird. And women are worse.

But anyway, I'm pretty excited that I have work. Hooray! And next Monday I start school again. So long story short, when I applied for graduation at the community college two years ago, I was already at BYU, and the registrar's office totally sucked and never returned my calls. After a few semesters, I tried to contact them again, but I was confused because they kept claiming I had a class missing. Because CSN really, really sucks, I could not get ahold with an actual person to find out why I couldn't graduate or what class I was missing. So a couple of weeks ago, I walked into CSN's Cheyenne campus and spoke with a counselor (coming in first thing in the morning and still having to wait an hour). She told me I was missing a communications class and that I couldn't file for graduation without it. So I signed up for the class this summer.

I guess that wasn't really a long story short, but I am pretty excited that I'll have some sort of degree from somewhere. I've been telling everyone that I have an associate's in poli sci, but until the end of July, that's not necessarily true. So I've really got to buckle down, because even though summer classes are crazy short (my course is only 4 weeks long), they're super intensive. I've got class four days a week. And two new jobs. Finally, I'm productive again! Hooray!

Plus I got a new pair of work shoes today. So I'm pretty happy.

Summer Update

Did I tell you guys my family has a **GARDEN**??!! It's so pretty! We planted herbs and peppers and sunflowers and a whole buttload of other vegetables and flowers and stuff in this varied mixture of useless and useful plants. It is the coolest thing in the world to see the sunflowers growing taller than the corn stalks. The only downside is that we don't have sprinklers installed yet so we have to water them by hand twice a day and there are THREE TIERS of crap growing out there! That part really does suck. The back of my neck is sunburned. :(

In other news, I'm learning the cello. I'm on day 5 of practicing. I know I'm holding the bow wrong because my right hand keeps cramping up, but I can't remember the brief lessons I paid for, like, four years ago, so I can't remember all the things I "learned" back then. Oh well. Rachel1 is learning the violin so together we squeak through a few hymns every night. It's been hilarious to watch our family wince at our screeching. My parents have always been especially positive about music education, so they're 100% supportive of our sudden, random interest in string instruments. After years of trumpets, mellophones, French horns, flutes, oboes, bassoons, saxophones, clarinets, trombones, and pianos, they have to act really supportive over Rachel's and my new hobby. Even if it kills them, which it probably will--inexperienced cello players can burst ear drums. It's unholy the sounds that a bad cellist can create.

I'm also losing my summer tan early this year because it's too hot to read outside. Blah. Oh well, pale people are attractive too...in Japan. Seriously, though. My friend Lisa is half Japanese and extremely pale, and when she flew to Japan, people on the street stopped her frequently to touch her face and arms because she was so white. It's apparently very attractive there. Did you know those Japanese masks they make contain bleached bird poop? That's kind of cool. My old gate teacher told me that. Don't remember much about the Jason project or the Mars project anymore, but I remember the Japanese bird poop masks. It's crazy the things you remember, right? Or don't remember, as the case may be. As the case always friggin' is.

Anyhoo, that's what's going on in my life right now. What's new with everyone else?

Moving Pains

Boy did we move a lot of stuff today.

I love Rachel's house because it's so elegantly designed and furnished. I admire a lot of her tastes and styles, and have enjoyed living in her beautiful home. But dang, she has a lot of stuff!

Apparently her unique style comes with a lot of fake plants and candle holders and table decorations and all sorts of stuff that is just crazy. So when we packed five boxes of dusty ornaments and wall frames I hadn't ever noticed before, we were absolutely exhausted. We had climbed all over the house, pulling down ornaments from all kinds of inaccessible areas, and sneezed our way through piles of stuff.

Now I'm sore all over and covered in dust, but there is a large pile of neatly stacked, ridiculously heavy jumbo boxes in the living room, and the house looks that much emptier. Congratulations to us. I'm taking a nap now.

The Only Sugar-coated, Dipped-in-chocolate Cereal That's Kid-Tested And Kid-Approved!

I just now ate my first ever bowl of Cookie Crisp. Do you remember those? The nasty-looking, impossibly-sweet mini cookie cereal from the 90s that had all mothers shaking their heads before the commercial could point out the "nutrition" facts? That cereal. I didn't even know they still made that cereal, and I've never had it before tonight. It's actually really gross. Tastes sickly sweet and slightly sour at the same time. I also probably shouldn't have eaten it at 2 in the morning, but I was hoping to crash from a sugar rush to make me sleepy and allow me to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later and I'm not feeling the effects yet, but I remain hopeful.

Anyhoo, eating that awful blast from the 90s made me think of all the cereal commercials I grew up watching, and I started wondering about which of those cereals are still around. Froot Loops and Lucky Charms are still kicking, even though they're impossibly sweet. But if Fruity Pebbles still sells, then those two cereals look like Oats and Bran by comparison. Remember the rice krispie treats cereal? Where there were chunks of rice krispie treats and you apparently just added milk and called it a cereal? Man, I wanted to try that cereal so badly as a kid. Now the very thought of it makes me want to throw up. Or maybe that's just the Cookie Crisp talking.

I loved the Apple Jacks commercials. Those are the ones where someone would always point out that it doesn't taste like apples. I guess the cinnamon flavor validated the title a little, but just because cinnamon and apples go well together (in a pretty decent pie, that is) doesn't mean you should point out what the cereal DOESN'T taste like to defend a pretty pathetic brand name. I love Honeycombs, too. Even though I think they still shoot commercials featuring that insane crazy hairy thing (what IS that thing?!) who really, really wants Honeycombs, the cereal itself isn't half bad. But I can't even buy Trix, because those mean, nasty kids who never shared their cereal even though the poor rabbit really wanted to taste it have ruined the taste for me forever. I feel like if I buy a box of Trix, I'm paying out to those mean, non-sharing kids and making the rabbit suffer more. I used to cry over that stupid commercial because I felt so bad for that stupid made-up character. Any product who airs a commercial that makes me cry is blacklisted forever. No Trix for me.

I just realized something. Maybe Trix uses a rabbit character because rabbits come out of hats as a magic trick. That kinda makes sense. But then why is the cereal shaped like different kinds of fruit? I don't know anything. I'm talking cereal at 2:30 in the morning. Maybe I should pick this up another time, when I've had a chance to sleep.

So moral of the story: Don't support the illegal hunting of endangered animals. Or something.

Sometimes Cliches Are Awesome

So I watched Avatar last night when I couldn't sleep. Man, is that a long movie. I heard a lot of things about that movie, mostly comments of derision about how similar it was to a plethora of movies. Having seen it, I can agree with a few of these comparisons:

-It is Dances With Wolves, except in space.

-It is Pocahontas, except in space.

-It is Atlantis, except in space.

And I liked it. Yes, it was cliche and the ending was predictable, but it was predictable in that the story line followed a natural order of progression in a way that I happened to be able to anticipate. So that's okay. And really, why is it such a scandal to make a movie that is similar to other stories? All fiction exaggerates the human experience so that the audience can see things from a different perspective. That's why fantasy is all one big cliche copied from Lord of the Rings. But we don't criticize new authors or screenwriters for writing a new version of Cinderella or whatever (well, we do, but they keep writing them anyway). And you know what? Ella Enchanted was great!

So yes, Avatar was yet one more version of true love for two impossible characters (except in space), but it was a new variation of the same story that has been around since before Romeo and Juliet and that will never ever die. And so I say, good job, James Cameron, for only putting a hint of non-pushy environmentalism in your story and keeping your screwed-up politics out of the story line. I appreciated your effort. And I appreciated the cliche.

Ann Barlow, I'm Talking To You!

Dear Ann,

I tried very hard to go to sleep tonight. I went to bed at a very reasonable hour, hoping to get a phone call that never happened. Then I decided I would try to get some sleep. Ha.

Instead, I found myself inexplicably reminiscing about our awesome spring together in Provo. Remember when I would pace around the room at night while we talked about how dumb France is and how awesome England is? And remember when I basically ate everything in the kitchen and you came out and had a bowl of ice cream while we looked through all your facebook London pictures? Remember when we went out to get frozen yogurt at the hippie place where you can chew on the biodegradable spoons?

You were by far my favorite roommate ever and each night as I lay here frustrated with my inability to rest, I keep thinking back on those nights of shared restlessness. Thanks for staying up with me. You're the best.

Sincerely,

Camilla