Strange Thoughts

I realized today that I word-vomit almost everyday. The things I say are ridiculous and a lot of times outrageous, and I float through life under the impression that everyone understands that I'm not being sincere. If I WERE being serious about what I say, then here are a few of the bizarre things I'd have to make good on:

+I'd be engaged to a multitude of people, including two of my dearest female friends, my nephew, and the entire marching band class of 2005.

+I'd be an alcoholic, lesbian feminist with a drug habit.

+I'd hate everyone on this earth except for myself. And maybe a few select others.

+I'd be a professional bus driver, and would have kidnapped an entire busload of schoolchildren, ransomed them for retirement money, and run away to Mexico. (I still have the essay to prove this one.)

+I'd have founded a new country and subsequent theme park (Camillaland!) and placed myself at the head of the government. Democracy is for the other people of the world--I'd totally be King (Take note: I wouldn't be called a Queen. See feminist allusion above.)

+Absolutely everything in life actually would be either the best or the worst.

+I would have no memory whatsoever. (Wait, what am I writing? Why am I here? Who am I?)

+My sisters would all be hookers, and my favorite guy friends would all be German whores.

So you see from these choice few examples that I tend to exaggerate everything, and should not be taken seriously. I felt in all fairness that I should at least warn you so you can properly dismiss my meaningless ramblings in the future. It only seemed right.